my dirty dirty mind...

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I've been on a cleanse for about a month now.
The free dictionary's definition of "cleanse" is: to free from dirt, defilement, or guilt; purge or clean...hmmmm
Something doesn't feel right.
If you follow my posts on here and facebook you probably look like an animated figure with a big question mark over your head (if it's a lightbulb we need to talk!)
Because I eat ridiculously, fanatically...uber, obsessively healthy. Those all sound hard core and while eating seaweed paper in the car instead of fries is probably hard core (and well my nick name is hard core) it's actually not as hard core as it sounds. Ok, you're right it is.
I go out of my way to put the best, most nutrient dense foods into my body.
Because it's my temple.
It's yours too...well, yours is yours, not mine is yours...well it can be yours cuz we're all connected and part of the whole collective...
So wouldn't we want to be hard core about the temple?
Sounds sacred and ancient, full of possibility...with stories to tell.
Sound familiar or feel good...resonate at all?
Your body is your freaking temple! Just like you wouldn't put regular fuel in your Ferrari 12 cylinder FF...why on earth are you putting less than premium into your temple 80% of the time? *note that anything hyper-linked in bold makes a great stocking stuffer!

So I've been off lately (thus the cleanse)...Stress and/or imbalance, at first, like faint, soft music playing in the background...until you're at a bloody rock concert standing right beside the speaker.
Not a subtle tapping anymore to grab intention, it's more like:
SISTA! What the fuck is up!? ...LISTEN!
Seriously. You know what' I'm talking about.
Then we get mad and frustrated at our temple.
Say wha?
The mailman brings you bills and bad news...he's just the messenger.
He's not at fault for your bad debt! Just like your body's not at fault for falling apart.
Bad debt or bad knees...The messages are for you...from you.
Embrace that this is a wonderful gift to explore.
There is room for growth and opportunity when we can SEE the message as a gift and not something that hinders and limits us. For limitations are only of the mind.

Insert every food and diet book known to man. I've honestly probably read them.
Insert every type of holistic and alternative practitioner...for...years.
Insert a merry-go-round of constantly cleansing or eating 'this way or that'...because of 'this or that'...
And how does all this FEEL?
Fucking crazy...yep. Not to mention that the concoction I just made for breakfast was pretty harsh.
Knowing that when I eat too many fatty foods (even the good fats) my body puffs out like I'm 8 months pregnant -- maybe a blowfish even.
Eat this...
Don't eat that...
Stay away from...
Can't have this.
My God give me fudge pancakes sprinkled with brownies on top, smothered in ice cream (that would be buckwheat batter with coconut milk ice cream...ha! still counts as a gluttonous binge!)

In the 80/20 rule that is how we operate in most of our life...with everything.
Most being in the 80% that is not in our favour...for anything.
I operate like 90/10...FOR my temple. point?
We must experience everything for ourselves.
All of my reading and absorbing of information is out of a pure love and enthusiasm for what the body is capable of. So having different opinions and theories allows us to come to our own conclusion.
Be mindful however, of...Dogma.
When we believe this or that to be true because a collective says it's true...
...we can often go against what FEELS right for ourselves.
Easier said than done.
I'm so aware of my body, what it reacts or responds too.
Ironically when it does start reacting...I start looking...outside of myself.
Last night I had a chat with someone who questioned WHY I was cleansing. I provided a myriad of answers.
Until this morning...(when I woke up at 3am starving!)
I began to question.
What's not about the food or the cleanse.
What if it' thinking around both?
Cuz that's really all that it can be.
I am hard core in my love for my body as a temple in this life.
If the cleanse represented a relationship (say in the form of a person)...what would that look like based on what I'm doing? ...depriving, not trusting, controlled and goal oriented, looking to 'get' a certain outcome.
Wow...where's the love!?
There can't be.

(...for some who have extreme conditions chances are your lifestyle is seriously contributing TO your ailments - that's just a whole other jambalaya of self loathe...and we need to talk...)
Me on the other just doesn't make sense because I live and walk the love that I have for this temple.
Your outer world is a reflection of your inner world...
It's my thinking that's in need of a cleanse.
Dirty dirty mind.
Purge - yes please!

We don't know 100% truth in ANYTHING.
Thus we need to question EVERYTHING.
When it comes to our own bodies and lives...
Our best compass is "feeling".
This is true. This is valid.
Not everything works for everyone because we are all so completely different.
Sure, we can pull out what works for some, test different theories and make our own life an experiment. That's probably the best thing we CAN do.

I believe the most important thing in a healthy life...
Is a healthy mind.
And a heart that is always full, ever expanding.
To love myself and my temple...
The answers lie in my ability to trust what FEELS good for me.
And perhaps apply a filter to purify this dirty dirty mind O mine.

We are SO toxic in the way we treat ourselves. Often the most toxicity coming from the thousands of thoughts that we have to process that are worse than hormone laden meat and refined sugars.
Often eating that piece of ginger cake drowning in buttercream isn't quite as bad as your stress around eating it...then knowing you have to work out for another 2 hours tomorrow because of it, and how will you ever fit into the holiday mini dress you just bought...and I feel like my ass is growing while I eat this? guilt, stress...toxic!
Enjoy...indulge! nourish yourself with the pleasures of life.
If you take care of your temple almost all of the time...
Life expects you to indulge.
That's part of the enJOYment of it.

To the mat for some stillness and maybe to Dyson the old mind (no hyper link! I don't want a vacuum for Christmas!) ...this is my vacuum alternative though...jus sayin!

And I love all my woo-woo, my alternative super hero guru's...
They are part of the journey and I'm not dismissing them EVER.
Just want you to open up a space that cultivates the knowing you have always had...
and often we do need help along the way. Every bit coming when you need it.
loving you from here...
Jodi xo

you know there's a recipe coming for Ginger cake now...

okay...are you curious about this cleanse?
the idea is not to feed the 'bad bacteria' in the body. We have both GOOD and BAD. We need'm.
We just want the army of GOOD to dominate. Bacteria thrive off the stuff we loooooove...
yeast, sugar and starchy goodness to be exact.

So here's kinda what my food intake looks like:

Can you tell I'm German? hello Sauerkraut!
The stuff that's fermented naturally is actually a really good source of GOOD bacteria!
 Awesomeness is the benefits of kale...and hale to the avocado. Sustaining me through this...
Here's where things go a tad askew.
More for ethical reasons I don't consume a lot of meat. Not to mention it's very acidic for the body. I partook in the carnivorous venture after my...uh...colonics (you can google that one) ...and this is where something didn't FEEL right. Again, I don't eat a lot of meat for various reasons. When I was given the go ahead TO eat quite a bit of it I thought...ugh...and then...yay!
I did sorta do a bacon dance at the market that Saturday. I mean...who doesn't like bacon! ...and it does look delicious. It was delicious...
it just kinda goes against so much of what I believe and what I've read...
(insert overwhelm and confusion...)
Steel cut oats.
Warming soul food on these almost winter days..avec raw, shredded coconut!
And I'm completely baffled IF this is allowed on the cleanse or if I can eat it...
It's really good for you. I do question grains...
Everyone has their own opinion.
Again! So many questions! it's fibre, I'm not consuming sacks of the stuff and it's...healthy...
I like it.
Can that be enough?? Because do you have any clue how much green I'm taking in??

See the conundrum? Toxic thinking from over-thinking, over-stressing! questioning...feeling guilty...
I'm off to bake a cake...
Or make some kale chips :)
...or meditate.

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